Rodent!

I'm not sure if it's due to some kind of database reshuffling, but as of the 25th of August, I'm an Adorable Little Rodent.  Woo-hoo!  That date is a fortuitous coincidence, too, because that was the day I turned...wait for it...35.  Yes, you heard right: I've already wasted half of my threescore-and-ten.

So far, here's what the beginning of the second half of my natural lifespan looks like:

• Being able to run for President really doesn't seem worth it.  Can I have my dollar back?
• I've been walking around all day, not doing any heavy lifting, and the left side of my back hurts.  This is surely a sign of the Long Decline.  Or else I have acute back cancer.
• So, am I supposed to have a clear notion of what I'm going to do with the rest of my life at 35?  And if so, er, can I get an extension?

Enough complaining—my life has been so stupidly free of obstacles and tragedy that I really shouldn't complain.  Plus The Wife (mysteriously) still puts up with me, which is a better birthday present than I have any right to expect.

Still, 35.  Yikes.  Do I have to stop reading comic books now?