Saturday July 18, 2009

Re: Jizz

"The packaging of the recent Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes action-figure 5-pack refers to the band's music as 'jazz', which may indicate that 'jizz' is being phased out of Star Wars canon or more likely that Hasbro did not want the term on a toy package."  (from here)

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Monday January 19, 2009

Don't Forget the Robots

"They are used for competition and popular Sports Entertainment and in some cases they are featured alongside Motocross races, mud bogging, tractor pulls and car-eating robots."  (from here)

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Friday September 19, 2008

Biden's Throbbing Network

"So Senator Biden's neural network for America wasn't just activated, it was throbbing."

(From this Language Log post.)

It's a measure of how much more dignified a writer Mark Liberman is than I that he did not follow this sentence up with, "Hell, it was more than throbbing, it was downright engorged.  It was turgid with activation, I tell you what."  I think this calls for a CafePress bumper sticker that says "Joe Biden's Network for America"—it's what all the fashionable linguists are displaying on their cars this election season.

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Monday June 16, 2008

So Smooth

"It's so smooth.  It's like a future machine, but it's not."   - Actress Laura Harris, plugging Honda's new hydrogen fuel cell car, after having been flown to Japan for the rollout ceremony.  Well said, Actress Laura Harris, well said indeed—I'm sure Honda's not regretting the price of your plane ticket now.

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Friday May 2, 2008

Moose and Jelly

"As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly."  (An actual sentence spoken aloud in the wild, as recounted in this post—thanks to Deanna Hoak for pointing it out to me.)

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Thursday April 24, 2008

Green Smurf and Smurf Green

"In Schtroumpf vert et vert Schtroumpf, published in Belgium in 1972, it was revealed that the village was divided between North and South, and that the Smurfs on either side had different ideas as to whether the term smurf should be used as a verb or as a noun: for instance, the Northern Smurfs call a certain object a bottle smurfer, while the Southern Smurfs call it a smurf opener."  (from here)

Has anybody read this story?  I wonder if the two smurfalects also differed in other ways.  Did the position of nominal modifiers vary, as the title seems to imply?  And what's the structure of the title—is schtroumpf vert a variety of smurf and vert schtroumpf a shade of green?  Is either of the diasmurfs consistently smurf-initial or smurf-final, or do they have relatively free smurf-ordering?

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Tuesday April 15, 2008

Melting the Babbitt

"Loading up an empty elevator car with discarded Christmas trees, pressing the button for the top floor, then throwing in a match, so that by the time the car reaches the top it is ablaze with heat so intense that the alloy (called 'babbitt') connecting the cables to the car melts, and the car, a fireball now, plunges into the pit: this practice, apparently popular in New York City housing projects, is inadvisable."  (from here, and don't miss the related video)

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Monday April 14, 2008

Meat and Blood

"I miss meat and blood very much.  Not vegetables because they are food for a woman."  (from here) (BTW, I'm pretty skeptical of the authenticity of the article.  How often do the sports pages in the Grauniad invent stories out of whole cloth?)

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Tuesday February 19, 2008

Orthophonic?

"Living Stereo, played on a record, through the all-new, two-in-one, RCA Victor stereo orthophonic high-fidelity Victrola."  (from this, via)

I guess it has pretty good sound, then?

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Monday February 11, 2008

Pym for Poe

"The 1969 novel A Void, notable for not containing a single letter e, contains an e-less rewriting of Poe's 'The Raven' that is attributed to Arthur Gordon Pym in order to avoid using the multiple e's found in Poe's name."  (from here)

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Saturday January 19, 2008

The Mushroom People

The "Mushroom Planet," visited by the protagonists David and Chuck, is covered in various types of mushrooms and is populated by little green people who are in a state of distress.  (from here)

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Wednesday October 24, 2007

This I Believe #25

For squeadlies, mash on the trembalo.  For meadlies, tone up on your chord surpassers.

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Friday September 28, 2007

Hardly Surprising

"Hardly surprising, since the second is the first's time-travelling daughter from an alternate future."

Of course—what could be more natural?

(From the entry on the psychic nosebleed at the TV Tropes Wiki.  Bonus points if you knew which characters were being referred to before following the links.)

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Monday June 4, 2007

Sleestak of Lady

I dare you to successfully parse this sentence:

"Sleestak of Lady, That’s My Skull reviews it here."

(From this post at Comics Should Be Good.)

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Thursday April 12, 2007

Friendly Milk

"Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers."

This is from a hilarious sketch by Fry and Laurie (via), which you can watch after the jump.

Continue reading "Friendly Milk"

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Wednesday March 28, 2007

Wrestling and Anime

"...the human race's greatest repository of pro wrestling holds and anime-based knowledge..."

(A description of Wikipedia from the latest in a series of scathing reviews of the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter comic book series.  I'm embarrassed to admit that I read the first eight or so of the novels the comic book is based on, wondering all the while how each one could be more awful than the last.  But I'm proud to admit that I stopped reading the series at least four novels before The Wife did—for such is my exquisite sensitivity to downward spirals in literary quality.)

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Monday March 12, 2007

Weathervane is a Verb

"We are offering a B727-200 aircraft for reuse as a home.  It is our intention to deliver and set the airplane up on a column and bearing arrangement so it weathervanes."  (more here) (via)

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Monday March 5, 2007

Pressing the Turd

"They press it, and all the food (in the turd) goes away.  All that remains is the sweat, the shit with the sweat in it.  Then they scratch it."

Continue reading "Pressing the Turd"

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Friday February 16, 2007

I Hate When That Happens

"For example, one swallower lacerated his pharynx when trying to swallow a curved sabre, a second lacerated his oesophagus and developed pleurisy after being distracted by a misbehaving macaw on his shoulder, and a belly dancer suffered a major haemorrhage when a bystander pushed dollar bills into her belt causing three blades in her oesophagus to scissor."  (from here, via, via)

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Thursday February 8, 2007

Flaming Yoko

"It was at this time that Yoko became aware of her unusually powerful vaginal muscles."

From this (possibly NSFW) article.  (via)

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Tuesday January 23, 2007

Magma Taishi

"Ambassador Magma, a giant hero who transformed into a rocket, was the first giant tokusatsu hero on television, beating Ultraman to the air by less than two weeks.  In the US dub, Space Giants, the hero was known as 'Goldar,' which was also the Power Rangers name for Grifforzar of Zyuranger (1992)."  (via)

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